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I’ve said this once too often each time some will
ask me why I haven’t “sold” my songs,
or have it released, or have it performed, so on, so forth.
“I write for myself.”
Sure. I have gone through the submitting process, from
recording companies to directly to the artist themselves,
and I got a few hits and misses. I realized later on
that I wasn’t really too keen on the submissions
part of the process, so I kinda gave up on the entire
thing.
But songwriting is something that you really can’t
just simply brush off. It’s something embedded
within us all from the very moment we have lifted that
pencil/pen to write our very first verse. Songwriting,
for me at least, is not only a part of me, it IS me.
So I went back to songwriting a decade after I called
it quits, but, the thing is, I didn’t write the
song; the song wrote itself.
It was one of those songs among many that will not
quit buzzing inside my head to the point of becoming
a case of last song syndrome. It will not stop until
I start humming the tune, until I start making a fool
of myself in public murmuring barely intangible lyrics,
just so I would remember the melody, because, though
it will bug me for a time, I’ll definitely forget
it if I don’t acknowledge its presence.
The ten year gap between songs was halved when the
next one write itself as if in my dream. The next one
was two years after, and the next one barely a year.
The last one so far was within months of the one preceding
it. They were all unforced, yet, I can’t say for
sure that they are “inspired,” by anything
or anyone, since I wasn’t feeling anything even
remotely related to the song’s subject matter
as i wrote them.
Yet, there they were, written, with full musical melodies
that I can only hope is unique from each other and other
songs out there.
Regardless of all these, I’ve never thought of
the money I’ll get from these songs. I’ve
spent so much on arrangements that I’ve decided
to invest on equipment. I’ve invested a lot on
equipment (a lot, being subjective, mind you), that
I have to make myself learn how to play, that my voice
needed improving, that my patterns may be too repetitive,
that may lyrics may be too shallow, or too deep.
Sure, who doesn’t want money? Heck, I’ve
spent more on a song than I could ever possibly hope
to earn from it. But I realized it’s not the money
I value after all.
At the end of the day, the song that must be written
will be written. With no audience but the ones who only
happen to pass by… |
